If I Didn't Know Better
by JustPartners
Summary: A short story with some E/O angst.
1. Chapter 1

**FAVORITES: 7 REVIEWS: 21 FOLLOWS: 20**

DISCLAIMER: I don't own the song. It is called "If I Didn't Know Better" off of the TV Show Nashville I also don't own Law and Order SVU Dick Wolf does.

Hope you Enjoy! :)

They had a hard case. Elliot and Olivia decided to have a couple drinks after work because of it. Elliot was also drinking because him and his wife are constantly fighting. They had been drinking for a while now and they were both starting to get a little tipsy.

"Hey Liv, truth or dare?" Olivia chuckled and downed another shot. "What are we in middle school again?"

"Smartass," he scoffed, "I'm serious truth or dare?"

She didn't know if it was the alcohol in her system or what but she instantly said, "Truth." This obviously shocked Elliot as he started choking on his beer. Then he suddenly got an evil gleam in his eye he leaned to her and whispered in her ear, "If I asked you to come with me back to my place what would you say?"

Olivia's smirk that she previously had on her face completely disappeared. She looked like a deer in the headlights. "I think your wife would say no to that idea," she said attempting to lighten the mood.

But Elliot didn't laugh he didn't even blink. He continued to stare at her when he whispered, "What would you say."

She looked down at her hands then back up at Elliot and barely whispered, "If I didn't know better…I would say yes. But I do know better and that's never going to happen," she quickly finished. Olivia then took a long gulp of her beer.

_If I didn't know better_

_I'd hang my hat right there_

_If I didn't know better_

_I'd follow you up the stairs_

They both then returned to an awkward silence. But that soon was forgotten as they drank more and began to loosen up even more than they already had. Olivia laughed and her hair fell into her eyes but before she could move it Elliot's hand already had.

With his hand still holding a piece of her hair looking into her dark chocolate eyes he said, "Liv you look so beautiful." She blushed and turned away. But his hand reached for her chin and made her look at him, "I mean it Liv, you always look beautiful." He slowly began to lean in before their lips made contact Olivia used what little control she had and abruptly pulled back.

She excused herself to the bathroom and all that was going through her head was the fact that he was about to kiss her. This can't be happening, she thought, he has a wife and kids at home. I must have misunderstood what he was doing it was probably nothing.

But even as she thought that she knew it wasn't true. Maybe I should switch to water just in case, she thought. With that decision in mind she left the bathroom and headed back to the booth where he was sitting.

_Stop saying those sweet things_

_You know I like to hear_

_The horns are blowing louder_

_The bailiffs drawing near_

When she came back he acted as if nothing happened and ordered her another beer. She was about to decline it but he had already bought it and she didn't think any harm would come from just one drink.

That one drink turned into two then to shots and by this time Olivia had lost track and didn't much care at the moment. She looked at Elliot and he gave her one of his special reserved only for her smiles that made his eyes sparkle.

At the same time Elliot was feeling the same way Liv was. He looked at her and realized how truly beautiful she was. They way her hair was cascading down her shoulders, the slight smirk that she had on her cherry red lips. Oh how he fantasized about those lips and how felt all over his body at night while with his wife. Before he could get too caught up in his fantasy he realized she was talking to him.

"What was that Liv?"

She chuckled, "I asked if you wanted another drink."

"Sure," he said.

_Why do I keep drinking_

_Wasting my time on you_

_If I didn't know better_

_Damn it I do_

She got up from the booth and headed towards the bar oblivious to the fact that every man was watching her as she walked, including Elliot. As she was ordering the drinks a man finally got up the courage and walked over to talk to her. Elliot's hands clenched and the vein in his neck was bulging whoever this guy was he didn't like him.

Up at the bar Olivia immediately noticed the guy walking towards her. He was actually a pretty attractive man.

"Hey my name is Tony," he said looking her up and down licking his lips slightly.

"Olivia," she said slightly adjusting her black dress that made her legs go on for miles.

They began making small talk and Olivia could feel Elliot's intense glare hitting her in the back. They were in the middle of flirting when Olivia's drinks came. "If you ever feel like meeting up again feel free to call me," he said leaving her his card.

She smirked thinking she might just take him up on his offer just to get Elliot out of her head. She walked back to the table where Elliot was practically ready to burst into flames.

He grumbled a thank you and chugged half of his beer. Olivia noticed him starring at Tony's business card he had given her moments ago.

"You know I'm probably not going to call him right," she said looking down at the card herself. After she said that with surprising speed he picked the card off the table and tore it to pieces. When Olivia looked up at him shocked he just smirked and took a drink of his beer.

_There's a hole in what you're saying_

_I can plainly see_

_You have a lover that's waiting, but baby_

_You're right here with me_

They both continued to drink until it was around 3 in the morning. By this time both of the detectives where far passed drunk and were on the same side of the booth. Elliot's hand was just above Olivia's knee and he was slowly making circles with his thumb.

Holding back a moan Olivia tried to concentrate on anything besides Elliot's hand slowly creeping up her leg. It was damn near impossible for her to concentrate on anything besides her gorgeous partner who she has had feelings about for years.

"Do you want to get out of…" she asked. Before she could even finish the question Elliot was pulling her out of the bar and out into the alley next to it.

She gasped when she felt his lips on her neck, pushing her up against the concrete wall. She knew it was wrong but she couldn't control the moan that escaped her lips as his lips reached her ear lobe.

He knew that he should stop but he couldn't. The noises that she was making, they way she looked in that dress it was all too tempting. He began to move his hand slowly up and down her leg feeling the muscles beneath his fingers and he continued sucking her neck.

Her breath hitched when he began sucking on the spot behind her ear. He knew he had her then. Removing the hand he had on her thigh he reached up and slowly turned her head so they were now facing each other.

His blue eyes met her brown ones and in an instant their lips connected.

_Ooh you might as well be the devil_

_Keeping me out past three_

_Well you're the one with the apple_

_But, baby you can't blame me_

Sparks flew the second their lips made contact. They both moaned into the kiss as Elliot's hands came to rest on Olivia's hips. Elliot's tongue made its way into Olivia's mouth and they began fighting for dominance. He instantly became addicted to her taste with the slight hint of the alcohol from before.

The kiss seemed to go on forever. When they finally broke apart for air it wasn't long before Elliot's mouth returned to Olivia's his kisses becoming more and more frenzied. Her kisses had the same intensity as his. They matched each other kiss for kiss.

When his lips trailed down her neck again and back up to her ear he huskily whispered, "I want you." Both of their breathing now was coming out in short breaths and neither one could keep their hands off each other.

Once again he whispered in her ear, "I want you tonight."

Tonight. That word stuck out in Olivia's mind. Even as Elliot continued kissing up and down her neck pushing her harder into the wall. All she could think about was the fact that he wanted her… only for tonight.

At that moment she instantly sobered up and pushed Elliot away from her.

_Why don't you keep drinking_

_Give me one night with you_

He looked up shocked at the sudden change in her mood. Before he could speak Olivia beat him to it.

"You are married," she spat at him. "How could you…. How could I…. What if we…." She was so angry, at mostly herself, that she couldn't even finish any of her sentences.

"Damn it Liv. It has been a loveless marriage for months!" he said taking a step towards her. "Kissing you has showed me that!" he took another step towards her. She couldn't back away any more because she was up against the wall.

When he was mere inches in front of her he whispered, "Tell me you don't feel anything when I kiss you. Tell me you don't want to do this as much as I do."

When she didn't reply he kissed her but when Olivia realized what was happening she pulled back immediately and slapped him.

"You are married!" she screamed at him. With tears in her eyes she said, "I can't do this anymore El." Then she turned and left him standing there shocked in the alley before he could see the tears fall.

_If I didn't know better_

She walked back to her apartment with tears streaming down her face along with the makeup she put on the day before. Once she was in her apartment he laid down on the couch and cried herself to sleep and the next morning she called in sick to work knowing he would be there waiting for her.

_But damn it I do..._

**Loved it? Hated it? Please review. Do I Continue or not..?**


	2. Chapter 2

DISCLAIMER: I don't own this song it is called "Change Your Mind" by Sam Palladio and Clare Bowen. It is by the same people who wrote the song from the first chapter. I also don't own Law & Order SVU Dick Wolf does.

Hope you like it. :)

It had been a week since Olivia walked away from Elliot that night in the alley and they still hadn't spoken. When they worked together they pretended that the other didn't even exist.

They both would go home, Olivia to an empty apartment, and Elliot to a house to a wife he no longer loved and 4 teenagers who refused to talk to anyone over 18.

Olivia would cry for hours until she slips into sleep wondering how things changed so fast. She never knew that he could hurt her so much.

Elliot on the other hand couldn't fall asleep. He would lay awake next to his wife wanting nothing more than to go and tell Olivia how much he loves her.

_When you wake up wanting me _

_And you can't go back to sleep_

_Change your mind_

He would lay their awake for hours and hours just staring at the phone. After 5 days went by all Elliot wanted to do was talk to her. He would pick up his phone and put it back on his nightstand throughout the night.

He didn't know what to do. He needed to talk to her but she obviously didn't want to talk to him at all. She made that pretty clear when she left him standing there. He walked out of his bedroom careful not to wake Kathy, cell phone in hand, and sat on the couch.

He couldn't get her out of his head. Her lips on his, the way she moaned when he sucked on her ear, the feeling of holding her in his arms. He was just so frustrated. He had screwed up big time and he had no clue how to fix it.

He put his cell phone on the table and put his head in his hands and did something he hasn't done in years. He cried. Elliot sat there crying like that until he had to get ready for work.

_When you're weak and all alone_

_And you're reaching for your phone_

_Change your mind_

Elliot sat at his desk paying no attention to what Cragen was saying about the company's new policies. All he could do was think about the night that Olivia walked away from him, their partnership, and how he fucked up his life even more.

He needed to talk to Olivia. She deserves to know how he feels about her.

After Cragen was done talking about the company's new policy he went back into his office and Fin and Munch went out to follow up on some new leads from their current case, leaving Elliot and Olivia alone in the squad room.

Elliot decided to break the silence that had been between them for the past week, "Liv," he half whispered half croaked.

"What," she snapped back still not looking up from typing on her computer.

"I… I just wanted to know if… um you wanted to talk… about last Friday night," he asked in a hopeful whisper.

Her response was immediate, "No" she spat. She still hadn't looked at him. Actually she hadn't looked him in the eye since last Friday night Elliot thought.

"We need to talk," he said getting up from his chair. She still hadn't looked up from her computer so when he grabbed her arm and pulled her out of her chair she was surprised.

"What the hell Elliot!" she yelled. As she was yelling he practically dragged her up to the cribs to talk.

_When you look back and regret_

_The moment that you left_

_Change your mind_

When they reached the cribs Elliot finally let go of her arm and blocked the door so she couldn't get out.

"God damn it Stabler! Let me through," she yelled trying to get past him. She eventually gave up and sat down on the closest bunk. She was still furious at Elliot for dragging her up here so when she spoke you could feel the venom in her voice, "Well? You wanted to talk so spit it out Stabler!"

He sighed feeling defeated and broke down from getting practically no sleep the past week. "I just… I just want to talk to you Liv," he said in a defeated voice.

"Well you kind of lost that right when you tried to get into my pants!" she said just as furious as before she stood up and began pacing.

"You know it was never like that Liv. Come on you had to know… I didn't plan on that happening Liv. We both were just too caught up in the moment and –"

"And you think that gave you the right to cheat on your wife! God El what were you thinking," she sighed. "Us… this," she said gesturing her hand between them, "It can't happen! Do you have any idea how much time I have spent trying to forget about what happened?"

"I don't want to forget," Elliot yelled, "I don't want to forget what it was like kissing you or touching you! I can't forget I remember every detail every night and I don't want to forget it!" he said walking in front of her to stop her from pacing.

Olivia was now sitting on the bunk again and Elliot kneeled in front of her. "Maybe you should forget El," she whispered. "I… I can't do this anymore this dance we do… it's just too much," she said standing up.

_When my kiss is all you crave_

_Let it go_

_Cause I don't want to do that dance_

_The push and pull the second chance_

_I already know_

"No Liv wait," he said stopping her. "I can't… you can't… we can't… I won't lose you again Liv." He said now holding on her shoulders.

"You can't give me anything El, you're still married. You have a wife and 4 kids to take care of. You can't lose them; they are your life El, your family. Don't give up your happy family for me… I won't let you," she said now with tears in her eyes.

_You'll just promise me forever_

_And then you'll take it back, just like that_

_Then you will change your mind_

"Liv… I-" he was cut off when Olivia said, "We can't keep doing this, we end up just hurting each other. I turned in my transfer papers 5 days ago. I'm transferring to California SVU, I'm leaving tomorrow night and I'm not coming back this time."

"We have said goodbye so many times it can't be the last time," he said desperately.

"No. This time it's for real. I put my apartment on the market and I am pretty much finished packing. I'm not coming back El," she whispered.

"Please don't leave we can work this out," he said begging now.

_Cause I don't want to say goodbye all over again_

_So if you think you go the chance to make it right_

_Change your mind._

"I can't El. This is it. Whatever you are thinking," she said slipping out of his hold, "you should just change your mind." After that she turned and walked out of the door, out of the precinct, and back to her house to finish packing.

Leaving Elliot sitting there on the bunk with his head in his hands when he whispered to himself, "I can't Liv. I can't change my mind."

After that he practically sprinted out of the cribs and on to make the biggest decision of his life.

**Ok what did you think… Loved it? Hated it? Please Review! I may just have another chapter in store for you guys :)**


	3. Chapter 3

DISCLAIMER: I don't own this song. It is called "When the Right One Comes Along" off the show Nashville by Clare Bowen and Sam Palladio. They also sang the songs from the first 2 chapters. I don't own Law and Order SVU Dick Wolf does. I think that about covers it…

Enjoy :)

It was three in the morning when Olivia had finally finished up packing. The movers still hadn't come to pick up her stuff but it was all put away in boxes. Not a single picture was left on the walls or the shelves. As she was walking through her bare apartment all the emotions of leaving started to hit her. She was really leaving.

She had lived in New York all her life. Olivia knew when she got on the plane in less than 12 hours that she would be leaving behind friends and countless memories. The memories began to hit her also. The stain on the dining room floor was from her 30 birthday party when she had a little too much to drink and spilt her wine and Elliot attempted to help her clean it up.

Olivia left the kitchen quickly at the thought of Elliot and walked into the living room where another round of memories hit her. There was the chipped coffee table that she hated but refused to get rid of because it was one of the things that was still here from when Elliot first helped her move in.

She had to take the coffee table with her to California but decided to buy a new couch and chair for her new place in California. The couch. Her couch looked like it had been through a war zone the way the cushions sagged in the middle and the color was beginning to fade. She had so many memories with that couch; watching movies, laughing at pathetic lifetime movies, and eating Chinese food with Elliot.

Elliot. All of her memories have something to do with Elliot. Soon tears began to gather in her eyes. At first she refused to let them fall but as she began to realize how much she was giving up by going to California she didn't hold back any longer.

_There's no music, no confetti_

_But you'll know it, I can guarantee_

_When the right one comes along_

It all hit her again. Cragen's face when she told him that she was leaving. Alex and Casey's soft cries begging her not to go. And of course Elliot's eyes barely holding back tears when he put his head in his hands. Olivia sat down on her old faded couch and cried, not sobbing just crying a steady line of tears down her face.

She had to leave it is what's best for Elliot. She had to help save his marriage and his kids, oh his kids they need their father she couldn't become between them. No matter how much she wished it could end differently she knew that she had to leave to save his marriage, his kids, and him. She needed to save Elliot.

Olivia stopped crying and picked up her cell phone. When the other person on the phone picked up she made her voice sound strong and you could barely tell that she had been crying moments before.

The airline said they had only one seat left on for an earlier flight to California she paused a moment then arranged to take the earlier flight. She hung up and decided to get an hour of sleep before she had to get ready for her flight laid down on the couch for the last time and quickly fell asleep.

"I'm sorry Kathy." He said sitting on the couch next to his wife neither one looking at each other.

"How long," she whispered.

"How long what?" he asked still not looking at her.

"How long have you been in love with her?" she whispered not able to fully comprehend what was happening.

Elliot didn't know how to respond to this. He didn't want to upset Kathy but he also didn't want to lie. "A long time," he said.

She sighed, "I knew this was coming El I really did we just weren't happy anymore. What are we going to tell the kids?"

"We will tell them the truth Kath we just weren't in love anymore. I know you aren't in love with me just as much as I know I'm not in love with you."

_You no longer have to guess_

_All those questions are finally put to rest_

_When the right one comes along_

Kathy got up and walked to the desk they had in the office room and pulled out the divorced papers they had already created 6 months ago when they separated once again. Kathy's name was still on the papers from 6 months ago and this time Elliot wasn't hesitant to put his name down next to hers.

After he signed them he got up from the couch and said, "I will be back in the afternoon so we can tell the kids." Kathy just nodded and wrapped her arms tighter around her waist and walked him to the door. Just as he was about to walk out the door she said, "You know I don't regret it."

Elliot turned around and said, "Neither do I," then turned and walked down the porch steps and out to his car that was parked in the driveway and instantly knew that he had made the right choice.

He started the car and drove away without a second glance. With the divorce papers still in hand he still had one thing left to do before he could be happy again and he was willing to do anything to follow through with it.

Elliot had been trying to call Liv's cell phone the entire time he was driving over to her place but she must have had her cell phone off because it went straight to voicemail. When Elliot pulled up in front of Olivia's building he noticed there were no moving trucks and took that as a good sign.

He grabbed the divorce papers out of the passenger seat, turned off the car and sprinted up the steps to her apartment. He pulled the key he had to her apartment she had given to him a month after they had been partners.

Six years later and over a hundred uses but this key seemed to have an extended meaning to it that Elliot had never noticed before. _This is when she first started trusting me,_ he thought, _the day she gave me this key she knew we would be together for a long time. That's when I started falling in love with her. The day she gave me this key, it began everything and gave me so much more._

_Every single broken heart will lead you to the truth_

_You think you know what you're looking for_

_Till what you're looking for finds you_

With that in his head Elliot took a big breath and put the key in the lock and opened the door.

When he opened the door he instantly noticed how bare the apartment was not a picture or any sign that Olivia had ever lived here. There weren't even boxes in the bare apartment. Everything was gone. Only the big furniture was left everything else was gone.

Elliot was in a daze. He was too late he didn't make it in time, she was really gone. Still not thinking straight he went and sat down on the couch and dropped his recently signed divorce papers on the coffee table.

How could he be late? This wasn't how it was supposed to happen. He was supposed to come over and she would be here waiting for him. He would show her the divorce papers and they would be happy. They would finally be happy, together for once.

Elliot's vision became blurry with tears and he suddenly had no reason to hold them back. He sat back on the couch that he had spent so many nights on when he and his now ex wife were fighting and cried, he didn't sob he cried.

Olivia had just come back with the final truck to pick up a few remaining items like her coffee table when she saw her apartment door opened. Her cop instincts instantly kicked in and she pulled out her gun. As she slowly made her way towards her half opened door she took a deep breath and barged into the room only to find Elliot on her sofa crying.

She quickly holstered her weapon and walked into the living room. Elliot was oblivious to her being there. He was so caught up in the emotions of her leaving that he didn't hear her whisper his name.

Olivia was shocked to find Elliot on her couch. She thought with her out of the picture he would be with his wife and kids at this time in the morning. She took a moment to look at him. He obviously hadn't slept in days with the bags under his eyes. His eyes were blood shot from crying and his clothes where wrinkled telling her that he had been sitting there for a while.

"El," she said this time a little more loudly. This was loud enough to get his attention because his head whipped around so fast Olivia thought he could get whip lash.

"W-What are you doing here?" he asked his voice still shaky from crying. She didn't get a chance to reply because before she could his arms were wrapped around her in a massive hug. Olivia instantly melted into his touch, his arms, his body, him.

Elliot refused to let go thinking that if he let go then it wouldn't be real and she would be gone. They stood there like that for a couple of minutes before Olivia began to pull away. Her flight was going to leave in an hour and she had to be leaving.

"El I… I have to go my plane is leaving soon," she said as she began to back away from him. But before she could pull away completely Elliot grabbed her arm and pulled her back away from the door and back to the living room.

"Liv, you can't leave. I can't handle you leaving me twice," he said unable to contain a sob from the back of his throat. His eyes were filled with tears he wouldn't let fall.

As Olivia stared back into those crystal blue eyes she knew she shouldn't have. His eyes hypnotized her and her own eyes began to fill with tears, she eventually ripped her eyes away from his and looked at her hands.

"We can't do this El. You're married and you have a family to worry about and I won't be the one to destr-."

She was cut off by his lips on hers. This was different from when they had kissed before this kiss was soft but still filled with passion and heat. The previous kisses at the bar were fierce, rough, and passionate not at all like this one.

This kiss simultaneously took her breath away and brought breath back into her. This kiss made her heart stop and at the same time made it beat ten times faster. This kiss was something that Olivia had never truly experienced before. It was pure love.

When they both pulled away Olivia still had her eyes closed and leaned her forehead against Elliot's and whispered, "Wow."

Elliot chuckled and grinned then said, "I agree… wow." Olivia pulled away and opened her eyes only to see Elliot's eyes shining back at her with a huge grin spread across his face. Still looking at Olivia he reached over onto the coffee table and picked up the divorce papers and showed them to Olivia.

He must have seen the brief panic and guilt that flashed over Olivia's eyes because before she could say anything he gave her a quick kiss on the lips.

"Before you say anything you didn't cause this. We had already drawn up the divorce papers and it was a mutual decision. We are going to tell the kids later on today and they won't be surprised this has been coming for a long time." He said looking into her eyes.

Olivia was so shocked that she was barely able to blink let alone form words. Taking her silence as a sign to continue he said, "She knew Liv. She knew I was in love with you and when I held your key in my hand I truly realized how much I am in love with you and you can't tell me you don't have those same feelings towards me because I felt them just like you did in that kiss. I am in love with you Olivia Benson."

Olivia's shock began to wear off as she looked at him she could tell he was nervous by the way he was biting his lip. This time it was Olivia that kissed Elliot. When they broke apart she whispered, "I love you to El."

He was so happy that the first grin on his face was a distant memory because this smiled outshined them all. He leaned over and kissed her passionately for a long time until air became necessary. Olivia chuckled and said with a smirk, "I guess I better cancel my flight and get my old job back…"

He chuckled. "Damn right," he said huskily as began kissing her again and this time neither one of them were drunk and they had all the time in the world.

_When the right one comes along…_

**The End! Loved it….? Hated it….? Please Review! I think this is it for this story but writing this story has given me new ideas for another story so stay tuned….. :)**


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